It's all over/changing

Finally everything's over. My college is done, I got two exams left but I'll take them next year. Finally I can breathe. I still don't know what's going on. Anyway, I was on a little vacation these days. I went to a library that was so big and full of books that I didn't know what to take home. I left (of course) with a full bag of psychology-related books. So when I do that, I usually read some pages of all and then decide which book will I read first. Reading the first few chapters of Letters to Louise, I got me really thinking about my life.

                                                                  Background source            
                                                   
Do you ever sit down and think about it for a while? Are you happy?

I'm not. Fully. I wish I could be more free. Without any pain in my stomach when I go somewhere. I have a feeling I need to get away from everything for all the summer. Doing what I want. I'm really thinking about spending a month by my granny's house. Like in my old days. Chilling on the balcony reading books and spending time in the city. No rush to go or to be anywhere.

My life needs to be changed. To be built again. Right from the start. How I look, what I wear, the way my body looks like, what I listen to, what my hobbies are, who my friends are, where I live? and what I do. I need that freedom. Seriously I have no idea where to start. Well, I started meditating and it feels different. But that's it.

Ever got a urge so hard to change yourself from bottom to the top? What did you do?

                                                                          Love, M.